Tips For A Smooth Transition

Tips For a Smooth Transition

Navigating Divorce Without Unnecessary Conflict

Working through the details of a divorce is complicate on many levels. While emotions run high, there are many practical and financial details to sort through. The “unentanglement” of a couple, particularly one with children, is never simple or easy. As the founding attorney of Larsen Law, LLC, I’ve seen many couples suffer more than necessary through the divorce transition. Following are my tips to reduce the stress and conflicts that can arise during this time.

Tips For A Smooth Transition

Focus on your own strengths
Stay off of social media
Raise concerns, but don’t bash the other parent (as part of this, focus on how their concerning behavior has affected the children)
Get your kids into counseling
Don’t involve your kids in the matter
Don’t talk negatively about the other parent to your kids
Keep everything in text message form
Don’t coach or bribe your kids
Don’t dig for information
See a counselor yourself
Don’t record each other
Don’t do anything you would be embarrassed for your kids to know about – they pick up on a lot
No drugs/alcohol
No violence
Journal, but include a balance of your actions, reactions and errors, too

Don’t monitor your kids’ conversations with the other parent
Don’t start a new relationship until your divorce is over
Do not lie to anyone during this process
Don’t do anything, say anything, or put anything into writing that you wouldn’t want the judge to know about
Integrate yourself into the kids’ lives slowly
Respect the other parent’s boundaries
Don’t engage in adult conversation with the children present
Don’t take your kids’ stuff when you leave
Don’t drain the joint bank accounts
Try to live in the same community as your co-parent.
Be honest about bad choices or behaviors
Use the word co-parent instead of ex
Don’t use unflattering names, pictures, sounds, symbols, or Memes in reference to the other person
Don’t get into a new relationship right away
Kids know everything